Courtesy of Beirut on my iPod

It was at that very moment, when the air slowly caressed my face and the few cyclists pedaled away, that loose pieces began falling into place. Two worlds, two very different worlds, slowly began developing immeasurable parallels (yet, neither was distinguished as "better" than the other). Lines began intertwining these axes and I stood there, waiting for the cars to dart away before my body did the same, in the opposite direction, regardless of the street signal. I stood there, thinking.

Thinking.

Comfort zones are ironic. They make one feel good, maybe even happy; but we lose a sense of living in the process. The thrill of living. The thrill of losing? Because, one cannot live without losses; nor can one lose without living. So... I found a few of these lost pieces, floating in the air near Bancroft and Telegraph, and I grabbed them, because sudden realizations are only good when remembered.

And I put them in my pocket...

My pockets are full of sudden realizations - good and bad. And, in turn, they are slowly growing in size and magnitude. They hit me harder, make me think longer, and drag me out into the most uncomfortable of situations.

yet...yet... I am alive.

And this pushing and pulling in my pocket that eventually enters my body and sets off a multitude of emotions throughout my bloodstream feels - good. Hurting is sometimes a good feeling, as is pleasure. But then...

sometimes pleasure and pain coincide as does happiness and sadness and so much more. All of these non-cognitive functions that are not explained by scientific means just, erupt. Just like that, they erupt.

My comfort zone has lost its place in my worlds. I say worlds since I have two, of course. I was lost, and still am; but, I am in no way confused (about myself, at least). I am stretching immensely.

Now, if this makes no sense to you, which it sure as hell might, paint this picture in your imagination
"Growing is stretching right? Isn't it true that regardless of how flexible you are, when you stretch more it hurts. You are out of your comfort zone. Then you reach and that stretch doesn't hurt anymore. And so it goes on.

Sadness and Happiness are part of the stretch, as the pain and the pleasure a muscle feels when stretching and reaching.
They are both natural.

Nothing to feel bad about in sadness.

But no confusion.

Understanding."

So I continued walking, because I had class in five minutes and a pocket full of understanding; loose particles coming together on an x and y axis where there is still so much room for discovery but enough points to begin crafting an image of something - anything.

Of life and living.

-Mon