I am completely different but exactly the same.


So much reflection, love and gratitude for my past, present and future.

I miss the playa and all of the beautiful souls who I had the pleasure to meet and share this experience with. Yesterday, I developed only one of my disposables from that beautiful event and I couldn't help but cry. 

With Autumn having begun on Saturday, I look back on my summer and think: "wow." The friendships I fostered and the few individuals who I lost all made the most unthinkable impact on me. 

Fall began in endless laughter, soon followed by a somber shift in mentality. There is so much to look forward to these next few months... 

I'll update this more often, the therapy is nice. 

I love you guys, by the way.

-Mon

Fiona Apple has still been on repeat

"We're like a wishing well and a bolt of electricity
but we can still support each other, all we gotta do is avoid each other
Nothing wrong when a song ends in a minor key
Nothing wrong when a song ends in a minor key..."

 Today, this song has been resonating a little more than usual.



xo,
Mon

An Internal Monologue

//Goosebumps all over my body//

It has been the most fascinating experience this summer with so many ups and downs. 

Essentially, I am just so very thankful for everyone in my life. My family, my friends, my acquaintances; everyone is just so beautiful.


The other day I woke up with a new frame of mind

and I have been trying, quite effortlessly, to love. 


And it feels so nice. 


So very nice.

xxx

(As Fiona continues serenading me)

"It's happening..."

I feel like a new human being ----

with a heart full of gold.

Photoz by SWOG + Mateo Miller (2nd from top)

Rrrrring

Hello operator,
please ring me 459
and if you disconnect me
then I'll give it one more try.

But if the trying goes on
(there's no one on the other end),
I think I'll get the picture
and I will never call again.


[Why am I so attached to my phone lately? It's literally driving me absolutely haywire to the point where I feel no longer like myself! How sad is that? When one measures their satisfaction based on how many interactions they have via cell phone. It's impersonal, up to the same caliber as those social media bullshit websites. And yet, I still keep checking my phone and I still keep my social media bullshit websites up to date.

I've hit a funny place in my head, methinks. I need to figure this one out.]


-Mon

[Mixed Media; Acrylic + Oil Pastel on Wood]

[Through the looking glass;]
peering out of a window
into the grassy knoll
where the children frolic
and the sweet surrender of frivolity
resonates.

It captures them
serenades them,
(if you will)
"come play,
unabashed
until one day,
this sweetness
will become ill-advised.

"Come play,
and let creativity tickle your fingertips,
let adventure tantalize your soul
and join the rest of the world
in frivolity,
because you just don't know
any better."

But,
don't be fooled,
because frivolity is a double edged sword.

We all want to play-
but games are only fun
when there's little
on the line.

Because
when emotions get the best of you
and all you can do
is see your losses:
no gains,
no pleasures;
just pain.

That's when you come to realize
that (maybe) its all

just

not worth it.


-Mon

A new post

Back,

with a new head.


Spring cleaning. Out with the dull life...

One of My Turns

"Day after day, love turns grey
Like the skin of a dying man.
Night after night, we pretend its all right
But I have grown older and
You have grown colder and
Nothing is very much fun any more.
And I can feel one of my turns coming on.
I feel cold as a razor blade,
Tight as a tourniquet,
Dry as a funeral drum."


pitter patter, eh?

-Mon