A new post

Back,

with a new head.


Spring cleaning. Out with the dull life...

One of My Turns

"Day after day, love turns grey
Like the skin of a dying man.
Night after night, we pretend its all right
But I have grown older and
You have grown colder and
Nothing is very much fun any more.
And I can feel one of my turns coming on.
I feel cold as a razor blade,
Tight as a tourniquet,
Dry as a funeral drum."


pitter patter, eh?

-Mon

Because the headlines have been a mess the past few days,

Art is everywhere - and it can be crafted to be seen at first glance; or rather, noticed with enough time passed. So beautiful! So much potential! Now, off to read...

s/love,
Mon

A Plausible Finish

A plausible finish by Charles Bukowski

There ought to be a place to go
When you can't sleep
Or you're tired getting drunk
And the grass doesn't work anymore
And I don't mean to go to
Hash or Cocaine
I mean a place to go
Besides a death that's waiting
And a love that doesn't work
Anymore.

There ought to be a place to go
When you can't sleep
Besides a tv set or a movie
Or a newspaper
Or a novel about a woman
With her clit in her throat.

It's not having that place to go
That creates the people in madhouses
And the suicides.

I suppose what most people do
When there isn't any place to go
Is to go to someplace or something
That hardly satisfies them,
And this ritual tends to sandpaper them,
Into a dullness where they can relax
With out hope.

Those faces you see everyday
On the streets
Were not created entirely without
Thought: Be kind to them:
They have
Escaped.

Where is my mind?

-x-x-x-

somewhere i have never travelled,gladly beyond
any experience,your eyes have their silence:
in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,
or which i cannot touch because they are too near

your slightest look easily will unclose me
though i have closed myself as fingers,
you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens
(touching skilfully,mysteriously) her first rose

or if your wish be to close me,i and
my life will shut very beautifully, suddenly,
as when the heart of this flower imagines
the snow carefully everywhere descending;

nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals
the power of your intense fragility: whose texture
compels me with the color of its countries,
rendering death and forever with each breathing

(i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens; only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody,not even the rain, has such small hands

-ee cummings

-x-x-x-

-x-x-x-

A light breeze, carrying the humid air like a newborn,
cradling it, as if in no time, the newborn will become bearable...
and stop crying tears of heat and muck.

Or maybe that's a little crude...?

Well, crude or not,
it's time for this babe to grow up and become tolerable,
because she's driving me mad.

Only calm when shushed at night,
letting out sighs of perfection,
and smiles of sweet, cool beauty.

Coo, coo?

[Time to be a night owl, perhaps]

................

Also, I sucked at updating my Europe trip, I know. Photos can be seen here: https://picasaweb.google.com/MonicaFinc/

-Mon

Firenze, Italia

Dia 2 in Italia

Come Monday, I will only have a week left of travelling Europe... what a crazy thought! I have gotten rather used to living the life of a nomad, stopping at a hostel to steal internet and crashing on stranger's couches. This whole experience, though quite surreal, has put a new twist to my daily routine. In a good way though... :)

A short recap, I suppose, of the past week or so is a must.

The adventures began in Berlin, just a little over a week ago, when I landed at the Tegel airport. In hopes of meeting my brother who just so happened to be in Berlin at the same time as I, my hopes were soon tested. Alas! The somewhat-twin-like-but-a-decade-older thing was nowhere to be found.

So I waited... and waited... and hopped on a bus! I thought to myself, 'well, he's just testing me to see if I can get to the hostel...'

However, I had not written down the information for the hostel, which eventually bit me in the ass. Having finally reached Alexanderplatz, what I considered as a good starting point, I began the walk of all walks. What do I mean by that? Well, let's just say I truly understood the enormous bubble of life that is Berlin. (And when I say enormous, I mean it.)

I walked an hour, attempted to hop onto every wifi network imaginable (damn Germans securing your network), and attempted to get to my one hostel (somehow) only remembering a map I glanced at two weeks prior.

(This is when everyone who knows me that is reading this blog will take a sigh, shake their head, smile and say 'oh Monica') I know, guys... I know...

Finally, after many hours, I entered an internet cafe where I heard some Poles chatting. I hop on the net, saw my brother online and he came to my rescue.

-x-x-x-

And yes, the whole trip has kept pretty much the same amount of curiosity, absurdity, luck, and so much more...

From doctor's offices to monk painters sitting beside me at the hostel (that one is happening right as I type this) to Italian horn dogs to phenomenal couchsurfing hosts to bike rides in airports from WWII to a DJ Shadow concert in an abandoned train station to eating nearly every hour of the day to not eating for a day, this has all been so ridiculously enlightening.

And there's only more to come! :)


I do believe, however, that the last day has been the most inspiring of them all. Getting lost in Florence and nearly bawling my eyes out on three occasions has helped me accept my vulnerabilities. Honestly, right as I stood there alone, as the sun set over the river, I took a deep breath and let everything out.

Trusted my gut.

and walked...

Until I saw the street of my hostel(coincidentally, Saint Monica street).

-x-x-x-

It's funny when things work out - no? That is yet another recent realization I have had. Actually, there have been quite a few:

- Don't forget to smile. Everyone will appreciate it. A little kindness will go a long way, and a simple smile can cure a multitude of doubt, unhappiness, anger, etc.
- Learn a little bit of the language! You will be surprised how far you can go with knowing so little... and the locals will love that you give it a shot.
- Stop looking at the clock. It isn't about cramming everything in the city within a given time slot... plus, you need something else to come back to.
- Get lost. Curiosity may have killed the cat but getting lost will not only satisfy your curiosity's desire but force you to think for yourself.
- Step onto the beaten path. Paved roads are boring. Test your instincts and explore something that has some wear and tear.
- Thank everyone who has helped you. If you let them know your gratitude, they will happily help the next passer-by.
- You are no better than any tourist.
- No local is any better than you. Rather, we are all equals, collected in a city expressing our thanks for being here, in this given moment.
- Take a nap in a park. Let the sun's rays tantalize your body and rejuvenate you. Your sanity and legs will thank you. :)
- Talk to people in the bathroom if you're in a hostel. Ask them what their plans are. Exchange ideas. It will give you insight in the most unlikely of places.
- Eat out!
- Eat in! Try to cook a native dish with native ingredients.
- Ask a local where their favourite restaurant is, whenever you feel your stomach turning. A bus stop, a church (well, maybe not there), a park...
Most importantly
- Trust your gut. Your instincts are present for a reason.

I know, I know, i'm becoming extremely idealistic again. I think it goes farther than that though... this trip has forced me to open up. After forcing myself to never get attached to those around me, I am re-evaluating my past decisions.

It's a nice feeling to care. It makes you feel human, y'know?

So, i'm off to my next couchsurfer's home, a little ways away from Florence's city centre, where I hope to meet more inspiring people. The sun is shining. The breeze is light. The birds are chirping. The gelato is melting.

Another day in the Mediterranean...!


Ciao,
Mon